Detachment from an Alcoholic

The following recommendation comes from Al-Anon Family Groups.

"Alcoholism is a family disease. Living with the effects of someone else’s drinking is too devastating for most people to bear without help.

"In Al-Anon we learn individuals are not responsible for another person’s disease or recovery from it.

"We let go of our obsession with another’s behavior and begin to lead happier and more manageable lives, lives with dignity and rights; lives guided by a Power greater than ourselves.

"In Al-Anon we learn

• Not to suffer because of the actions or reactions of other people.
• Not to allow ourselves to be used or abused by others in the interest of another’s recovery.
• Not to do for others what they can do for themselves.
• Not to manipulate situations so others will eat, go to bed, get up, pay bills, not drink.
• Not to cover for anyone’s mistakes or misdeeds.
• Not to prevent a crisis if it is in the natural course of events.

"Detachment is neither kind or unkind. It does not imply judgment or condemnation of the person or situation from which we are detaching. It simply a means that allows us to separate ourselves from the adverse effects that another person’s alcoholism can have on our lives.

"Detachment helps families look at their situations realistically and objectively, thereby making intelligent decisions possible.

Codependent No More and Beyond Codependency by Melody Beattie Read more about this title...