Alcoholism and Addiction – Diseases of Denial
They say in Alcoholics Anonymous that Alcoholism is the only illness that your brain tells you you haven’t got. The advice on this page comes largely from an Article in "Getting Sober- and loving it" - a wonderful book by
Denial is the life-blood of addiction. It permeates all aspects of the problem and contradicts what is really happening, this perpetuating the illness. By refusing to accept what is happening, the dependent drinker does not have to face reality and can subconsciously deny the consequences.
The guilt and shame can be so painful that he will not talk about his drinking or he will deny it is causing any problems. In either case, he defends his dependence. The blame can lie elsewhere. He is absolved.
Dependent drinkers will conceal the amount they are drinking. They believe they do not drink more than "normal" people while in reality they are drinking much more than the social norm.
People close to the dependent (the co-dependents) who deny what is happening are instinctively trying to protect themselves from pain and loss in their lives. Full of anxiety, they do everything they can to tidy things back into place, to make believe the situation is other than what it actually is. They minimise the value of what they have lost, refuse to accept the evidence of their emotions, deny their own feelings, adopt a "don't care" stance.
In times of great stress, those around addicts hut down their awareness of things that distress them too much, in order to be able to cope. This can serve to protect the co-dependent until he or she acquires the resources to deal with their real feelings about what has happened. At that point, for those facing reality, the experience can be devastating.
The pain felt at the loss of denial can be as difficult to bear as the grief felt at the loss of a loved one. At times like these, the co-dependent should seek support from others who have faced similar trauma either through self-help groups or counselling. It is also advisable to seek professional help by opening up to your family doctor.
The addictive personality can certainly be harnessed to make a good recovery and such is the tenacity of that personality to pursue its ends, that a recovering addict is a force to be reckoned with, hence the positive energy felt in meetings attended by recoverers - newcomers and old hands alike.
It is of enormous help to many of us to know that an alcoholic is seen as a sick person needing to be well, not a bad person needing to be good We alcoholics do such bad things that it is good to be told that it is an illness.
The power of denial is such that outside the mode of recovery, most people do not want to acknowledge the problem. It is just too much to deal with. However, the power of one alcoholic to share and identify with another's experiences is what most helps people to discover that they are not alone.
Getting Sober- and loving it
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